The holidays present many things: family we may not see very often, great food, fun activities, or even travel, and among all the wonder and happiness, they usually present a unique kind of pressure: to make the day so very special that it will forever be etched in our memories.
For years I pressured myself to have the very best Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, pick any holiday, it didn’t matter, by the evening before I had worked myself up into such a frenzy worrying over the smallest details that having even a pleasant holiday was out of the question, much less having the fabulous one I envisioned. And as I struggled with the situation, each holiday became less and less enjoyable, until, at one point, I dreaded them all.
As you might imagine, not enjoying the holidays is unacceptable. For a while I tried not having any expectations: that was just as bad. In having no expectations the sense of anticipation is lost and so is the magic.
And then I did some reflecting on those times when it I enjoyed myself the most: not just holidays, but get togethers, fun evenings spent with those I love, vacations, any time that was pleasant. And I made a wonderful discovery: it isn’t any outside influence that make special days wonderful, it is your approach to the situation.
Will Aunt Mabel be at your Mom’s today and she’s very negative? Simply tell her hello and then move on–politely. If she follows you and spouts her unending despair, nicely say that is not how you view the world and, again find someone who’s world view is more in line with your own.
Should you have expectations that the day will be wonderful? Sure, but if something goes wrong, it shouldn’t ruin your day. Use it as a point to distinguish this fabulous day from the many others you’ll be having for the rest of your life.
You, and only you, decide how happy your life will be. It takes a bit of practice to develop a new habit, but this is worth all the effort you’ll put into to it! And if, by some chance the day starts to take a nose dive, take a short walk around the block and remind yourself of all the great things in life your and all the happy times you’ve had–the positive thoughts and the relaxing walk will help to reset your frame of mind.
Happy Mother’s Day,
Copyright ElleVeg 2014